The joke was a lie. Sucker. I have a tendency, and by tendency I mean bad habit, of avoiding giving people a clear answer by saying “I’ll think about it”. I don’t want to do that anymore. So when I told someone earlier tonight that I’d think about I meant it. And here’s where I show my work. So, pride, much like football, is a funny old game. I think pride is often pointless, certainly the petty things people ascribe to pride (not going to lie, I think growing up in Dundalk may have skewed my view on this – pride in nothing at all was/is far too often the nominaml cause of meaningless conflict). But pointless or not I think pride is a sin in which I often unconsciously wallow, entirely unfounded and unsupported pride at that. Generally it doesnt really bother me, my unearned egomania is well entrenched and an old friend. It can become a problem though.
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Flavour of the week activism or If you’ve awoken dont go back to sleep
People have every right to be upset about a woman dying because legislation hadnt been put into law because it wasnt politically expedient. It’s obscene. The concept (and internet obsession) with comparing misery dicks is equally obscene. That being said a lot of people’s outrage over this whole debacle seems overdone or forced at best. There are lot’s of other preventable deaths taking place in Ireland that no-one talks about, that get no Dail protests, that people just basically dont give a shit about. The cynic in my suggests that its because they dont make for quite as good a news story. I’m not trying to condem or shame anyone, it’s all too easy to simply miss these things. But if you have found yourself stirred to action by this current case than I’d urge you to try and keep abreast of similar issues, dont shame yourself by indulging in “flavour of the week” activism.
If you’re wondering what I’m talking about here’s an example. A week ago a 22 year old woman froze to death on the streets of Tralee. I saw exactly 0 tweets or Facebook posts about. The lifespan of someone living rough on the streets is less than half of someone living in normal accomadation. The Simon community’s annual review shows that on averge 30-40 homeless people who they work with die each year, this figure isnt an accurate figure of the total number of deaths due to homelessness but its already pretty fucking shocking. Of course problems like homelessness have neither an easy enemey to blame nor a readily identifiable “silver bullet”. They’re complex problems which require people to think about them and contribute their time or money. Which is clearly not as attractive as a simple hashtag and some enjoyable moral outrage.
I hope this isnt preachy (but fear it is) and I dont want people to take this as an accusatory “Hey you cant care about that without caring about this!”, I meant it be illuminatory instead ;) (More “Hey you care about that, maybe you werent aware of and would be interested in caring about this?”
A moment in time Or a depressing attempt at self assessment
I think existence is pointless. I think mortality and an understanding of scale renders human endeavour meaningless. I think humanity is a bunch of delusional animals obsessed with distracting themselves from the fact that we’re living lives that dont matter in a universe that doesnt care. I’m a lazy, nihilistic coward. On a good day. Unsurprisingly this is not a cocktail which helps generate a lot of motivation. I have started a million different things, but eight hours later when I wake up they never happen. I have not and cannot catch up to tomorrow’s Michael. Who isn’t obsessed and terrified by his own morality and the grim meaningless of it all. Even the false immortality offered by atrocity is tempting at times only I’m a) lazy and b) why should I inflict my misery on others? Anyway even that would pass in time, “Nothing beside remains”. Then on other days I don’t think and I’m not those things. Continue reading…
The letter of the law
This is purely to make sure my one post per week vow is stuck to. Currently researching my cock off for my PhD (which I think I’ve largely come to terms with). Which isnt leaving a lot of time for other stuff, I’ve also been low level sick for the last week or so. Not enough to really take me out of it, but enough so that I’m always tired and fuzzy headed. Not fun. My nanowrimo attempt remains more or less stillborn since my last post. I’ve more or less decided on which basic story I’ll go with, but I’ve no words written, no real plot planned out and no time to really work on it. I think I’m going to sacrifice at least Sunday to it.
Even worse I’ve had next to no time to work on Ave Imperator, which is something I really want to get stuck into. Well thats not entirely true, I’ve refined some of the basic design and nailed down (at least in my head) the core functionality I want to include. Of course, as it always the way with such things, every time I try and think more about it I end up coming up with ideas for other games instead. One I would love to work on (but I dont think its achievable by oneself) is this:
Random game idea – Faust – You play a lord of hell locked in a battle for regency now that Lucifer has gone missing. Your legions are ready but you need to recruit strong souls to lead them. Gameplay consists of selecting various locations and locales on earth (played through in 3rd person/isometric view e.g. you could head to a town and run around a few screens worth of it, or a prison/school/battlefield/etc.) and going there to recruit humans by offering them faustian bargains. AI controlled rival Lords tempt the humans with counter offers. You can recruit both “named” and generic units (the named units tie into the games narrative). Back in Hell you wage a campaign (using a campaign map similar to Age of Legends/40K: Dark Crusade) to conquer the other lords. The battles are played out like a trad SRPG, your human recruits/souls are your main troops (perhaps you can upgrade, specialise them by combining them with various demons) – basically the soul management/upgrade system works like a reverse version of the demon breeding in Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne. Human souls work on a circular “emotion” aspect, similar to elemental strengths/weaknesses. Different emotions give rise to different powersets/abilities, you can try and “breed” the emotions you want offering further faustian deals. All Faustian deals (including the initial recruitment ones) cost a certain amount of demonic powere/potential – which you can increase by conquering other demon lords and enslaving them/annexing their territory. Tone/apperance somwhere between Solium Infernum and Digital Devil Saga/Demon Summoner, basically dark and primarily western in basic visual design but drawn in an “anime” style (ideally sprite based as well). Add in a solid narrative, a good (and extensive) post-game/skirmish mode, customisable traits for your demon lord, etc. and this would be more or less my perfect game. If I win the lotto (or make it big some other way, I am totally making this game).
Failure to ignite
Well, as Dave and Adam are blogging about their Nanowrimo experience I figured I should throw up something as well. Luckily mine also offers a nice negative counterpoint to theirs. Continue reading…
Does the rock try and fight the river? Or I’m not buying any more games
Yes that’s right. I am buying no more computer games, actually I’m buying no more games full stop (i.e. no more board games or role playing games either). Well starting in 2013 and excluding one or two that I have pre-ordered or Kickstarted. Why? you ask. Let me tell you. Continue reading…
Ave Imperator – Design Journal – 01 – Historical Accuracy
I wanted historical accuracy to be important to this game; as such I did a fair amount of reading on the period and the reality of gladiators and their life. However the more I learned about the reality of how things were the more I realised that changes would need to be made. There’s no point clinging to historical accuracy when it gets in the way of fun or in some cases the basic premise of the game. Continue reading…
Games I am making
Just over a year ago I started my MSc in Interactive Digital Media in Trinity. My goal was to use the course, which was advertised as “intense” and had interesting looking interactive narrative and game design modules to a) update my skillset and b) serve as a launching pad into getting a job doing narrative or design for games. A year later and I can certainly confirm that of all the things the course was “intense” was certainly not one of them. I also realised, after doing some research into it that working in the reality of working in the AAA games industry was rather disheartening. Continue reading…
One a week is ok surely?
I know I’ve made claims about keeping things up to date before. But this time it’s different. You can trust me baby. I’ve changed. I swear.
So here’s the deal. At least one update, no matter how short, a week.
Collected and Copied
The kickstarter for Werewolf: The Apocalypse 20th Anniversary Edition is live. Also weridly expensive, even for the pdf. This game is more or less the platonic ideal of a “cool game but the players need to read the book” and we all know that players never read the fucking book. If I was rich I’d be tempted to pledge at the level where I get the cover made of metal, but Im not, so I wont. If I recall correctly in the only long term game of W:tA I ever ran the PC’s killed a vampiric Dermot Ahern before breaking into the high security secret base beneath the town hall. I clearly didnt realise how visionary I was at the time – http://kck.st/P8aP0E
Weird. If I hadnt bought that printer (so I can print out class notes for my vile students as well as my erotic Monk fanfic) I would almost certainly have purhcased the hardcopy version of the new Werewolf the Apocalypse. I have more or less two fullsize bookshelves full of rpg’s I largely only read. But not anymore apparently. Growing up? What a pile of bollocks.