Man Vs Belly – Fatchelor Life 02 (Avoiding morning soup)

The video for Parklife always makes me think Damon Albarn’s a cunt. Which he may or may not be. But that amzing insight is rather tangential to the subject at hand. Day two, supplies are running low, the other survivors are looking at me with I can only call “speculative ill intent”. The weight of the machete I hid in my luggage is the only thing I can trust. Ahem. Well I set an alarm today in an attempt to pull back my morning. I woke up a minute before it went off, but only got out of bed an hour after waking up. Still, beat yesterday by two hours if I keep that up I’ll be up at a human time by Thursday or so. Continue reading…

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Man Vs Belly – Fatchelor Life (I get up when I want)

A little over a year ago I wrote the following, “I don’t want to shock you gentle reader, but I’m overweight. Not as overweight as I was in the past but nowhere near my “proper” weight either. Over the years I’ve tried various diets and eating plans, with the results ranging from excellent to disastrous.” It mildly saddens me to say that this statement still holds true today. Though again, a little less than when I wrote it. Back at the beginning of March I entered into a diet pact with someone. Nothing outrageous, we’d try to lose two pounds a week from the first week in March till the last week in June, specifically June 26th (the significance of that date should of course be obvious to our more devoted readers). Continue reading…

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Man Vs Belly – Return to the temple of diet bar doom

So back over here I outlined my initial forays into the world of jam and diet bar manufacture. The former turned out splendidly, the latter, not so much. But undeterred I ventured once more into the fray. I wish I could tell you that I fought the good fight, and the second batch turned out better. I wish I could tell you that – but homemade diet-bars is no fairy-tale world. Continue reading…

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Man Vs Belly – Healthy “Rice Krispie” Bars and Zero point “Monkey Butter”

Well I am nearing the end of my third week trying out the Weight Watchers program. I’ll cover it in another post but in short its going quite well. But I am now obsessed with using as few points as possible and I find that the biggest point sink (apart from affordable mince oddly enough) is snacks. Particularly “proper” snacks i.e. non healthy ones. The other day I was consumed by the bizarre urge for a rice krispie bun which lead me on a hunt for healthy rice krispie buns which ultimately led to the creation/modification of the recipes below. Oh yeah, I suppose I should mention, there are no actual rice krispie’s involved here. Sorry for breaking your heart. Continue reading…

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Michaels Month of Meticulously Mandated Mastication – Sixth Bite

Well week two is off to an inauspicious start with last night’s chinese. But we’ll see how it goes. Weekends are always something of a diet minefield due to work. As I mentioned before, it throws off my meal schedule entirely. This weekend was a weird mix of up and down. In some ways it was better than last weekend (mainly due to lack of a hangover and better prepared lunch’s), in other ways worse (fell afoul of a few free and awesome muffins in work and twenty cent sandwiches in Tesco’s). Continue reading…

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Michaels Month of Meticulously Mandated Mastication – Fourth Bite

Today’s the last day of the first week of my eating plan, so Im going to cut the planned update short and just cover one day. Today’s food, as seems to be the norm, was not without its problems. But overall things turned out quite well. I’m also not suffering any noticeable cravings, though now that I thought about cravings I’d love a few slices of white bread. But I’d prefer to be slimmer more so I must persevere. Once you start cooking its weird how into it you get, I spent a good two hours last night looking up various recipes and thinking about what I would include in the next two week block. Which should conclude just before christams, I’m not going to bother with healthy eating for christmas or new years eve weekend. Hopefully I can stick to it for the week in-between, but if not Im not going to be too heartbroken. After all, this is a martathon, not a sprint. Continue reading…

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Michaels Month of Meticulously Mandated Mastication – Third Bite

While I was largely successful with sticking to my meal plan for the last two days I did learn two things. The first thing is that a meal plan, while useful, is more use as a list to choose from than a strict list to follow. The second is that things can go oh so terribly, terribly wrong. To see just how long just run your eyes over my dirty word nuggets (you should be ashamed of yourself!). Continue reading…

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Michaels Month of Meticulously Mandated Mastication – Second Bite

With my ingredients purchased (and mental loins girded) I was all ready to start my new diet come Wednesday. Unfortunately my previously profligate food purchasing had left me with a small stockpile of food which varied from mildly to grossly unhealthy. Now I could have thrown that food out, but that seemed rather wasteful and so instead I decided to push the start of my diet forward one day and finish them off. Thursday dawned bright, fresh and cold – well I’m assuming it did, because I didn’t get up till lunchtime. Continue reading…

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