The Man, The Myth, The Myxomatosis
Posts tagged fiction
(Further) Misadventures in Minecraft
Sep 4th
Day 8
I awake to my second week in hell. My joy at actually living through a night was off-set by my oracular vision of where I was trapped. Still there was nothing to do but continue on with my plan to explore the subterranean depths. I hurriedly finished my crude home and set off once more into the mines.
I spend the day alternately mining and logging. By evening even my superdimensional pants are streatched to breaking point; turgid with wood and stone. Continue reading…
Misadventure’s in Minecraft
Sep 2nd
Day 4
I hauled myself to my feet once more. Three times, three times since I’d been here had I fallen into that suffocating darkness only to find myself cast back to the same shore time and time again. Had I died? Was this some hellish afterlife I must endure as punishment for my misdeeds? (Is injecting your semen into your housemate’s canned goods even really a sin? Still I had no choice but to continue with my quest to build some kind of shelter. I must return to that cliff-face where I had found coal and longbow wielding skeletons in equal measure. Girding my rectangular loins I set out once more. Only to be set upon almost immediately by a hideous quadruped cactus man. My attempts at communication were met with a high pitched hissing as he lunged towards me. Continue reading…
Mick’s Adventure’s in Minecraft
Sep 1st
Day 1
I am writing this jounral in a vain attempt to keep myself sane. I awoke from a restless sleep to find myself lying beneath the blazing sun on a sandy beach, staring at some islands in the distance.
My head throbbed with a strange pain and my body felt swollen and mishappened. Raising my hands to my head I cried out in terror as they came into view. Where once there had been hands (that had pleasured me endlessley) there were now only crude flesh cubes. I surveyed the rest of my body and my horror grew. I looked like the bastard spawn of a bobble head and lego soldier.
I also realsied that my surroundings shared my strange angular malady. Where was I, what had happened to me and how the fuck was I going to get home? Continue reading…
If Mick was the Devil (Part 2) Or The Emperors New Clothes
Jun 25th
Well due to popular demand (aka one person mentioning it in passing) Ive decided to push the critically important chronicling of my thoughts on Final Fantasy XIII to a later date and continue with this instead. So when we last left our intrepid author he had become the Prince of Darkness, the Lord of Flies, Old Nick, Old Scratch, El Diablo, well you get the picture. However, now that it isn’t five of the offensively early am clock I can see that some elements escaped examination in Part 1. Elements which should probably be addressed before going forward. Continue reading…
If Mick was the Devil (Part 1) Or “Please allow me to introduce myself…”
Mar 22nd
It has been suggested by both maid (buxom and otherwise) and madman that I am in fact the devil. Clearly this is insanity (likely brought on by their insatiable lust for my naughty parts). However it serves as a suitable enough introduction from which to segue into a thought exercise which I’ve been idly kicking around in the old noggin for a while now. So without further ado or folderol we humbly present our main event, enjoy. (In the interest of full disclosure this does meander a bit so you may want to simply skip down to the revised checklist and go on from there). Continue reading…
Scribbled Supplications